$POOBAH White Paper: Crypto’s Most Absurd Coin

Uncover the full $POOBAH white paper. Tokenomics, NFTs, DAO, and divine nonsense from crypto’s most surreal memecoin. Join the movement now.

If you’ve ever stared into the crypto void and thought, “This all feels a bit too serious,” then allow me to introduce you to $POOBAH—the token that answers to no logic, laughs in the face of charts, and might possibly be advised by a divine sock puppet. This isn’t just another memecoin. It’s a full-blown absurdist movement wrapped in Ethereum code, powered by NFTs, daily nonsense, and a guru who thinks the blockchain is best read upside down. The white paper? Oh yes—it’s real, it’s ridiculous, and it might be the most joyful thing you read all year.

Uncover the full $POOBAH white paper. Tokenomics, NFTs, DAO, and divine nonsense from crypto’s most surreal memecoin. Join the movement now.

$POOBAH White Paper

15th April 2025

Foreword from The Poobah

“In the beginning there was chaos. And also cheese. But mostly chaos.”

- The Poobah

I, The Poobah, do hereby scribble this sacred scroll with an eyebrow raised and a trouser leg tucked behind mine ear. For lo! The world did overflow with dull tokens and bland blockchains, and the people did suffer from Terrible Seriousness. Verily, they gazed upon charts and spreadsheets, and their souls did shrivel.

So it came to pass that I plucked forth from the Memetic Cauldron a coin most curious—a token imbued with wit, whimsy, and a faint scent of wet biscuits. I named it $POOBAH, and unleashed it upon the Ethereum chain to confound, amuse, and possibly appreciate in value (no promises, consult your inner shaman).

This token is no pump-and-dump. It is a pump-and-prance. A shuffle of joy upon the blockchain of destiny. It is utility dressed in absurdity. Economics smuggled inside performance art.

Therefore I command thee:

  • Collect the NFTs of divine nonsense

  • Recite the QOTDs with reverence and irreverence

  • Bathe thy MetaMask in the radiant glow of $POOBAH

And remember, children of the Sacred Splatter:

“Where sense fails, nonsense reigns.”

- The Poobah

Abstract

$POOBAH is a memecoin born not from hype, but from hilarity. It fuses crypto culture with surreal satire, daily wisdom with digital collectables, and community engagement with a deeply unserious sense of purpose. Beneath the giggles and the glorious gibberish lies a fully deployed ERC-20 token on Ethereum, crafted with real utility, NFT integration, and a commitment to absurdly sacred nonsense.

Poobah isn’t just a coin. It’s a movement. A meme. A ministry of madness.

Welcome to the Bureau of Confused Archives.

Bring your wallet—and your sense of humour.

Introduction

We live in a world where thousands of coins launch daily. Most vanish faster than an influencer’s moral compass. Rugpulls, vapourware, and recycled Pepe clones have saturated the scene. Somewhere along the way, crypto lost its joy. It forgot how to be… fun.

Enter $POOBAH—the memecoin with a sense of purpose so ridiculous, it might just make sense.

Born from the immortal utterances of The Poobah, a surreal and occasionally sanctimonious oracle, $POOBAH is more than a token. It’s a spiritual experiment in the absurd. Every day, Poobah issues divine proclamations from situational pulpits—whether from a pigeon-led parliament, a cauldron of curry, or the Glorious Throne of Unmentionable Stains.

These quotes are then immortalised:

  • As 4:5 illustrated QOTD images (with watermark: poobahsays.com)

  • As NFTs with rarity traits and evolving lore

  • As community prompts for further satire, memes, and madness

But beneath the whimsy is a working token. $POOBAH is live on Ethereum, with a fixed supply, no central minting powers, and an open invitation to anyone who thinks crypto could use less whitepaper and more toilet paper.

In short:

  • We take decentralisation seriously

  • We take ourselves… not at all

What is $POOBAH?

At its core, $POOBAH is an ERC-20 token on Ethereum, but to call it “just another coin” would be like calling a flamingo “just a chicken with dreams.”

$POOBAH is the official memetic token of The Poobah—a fictional oracle, absurdist guru, and questionable life coach whose daily proclamations blur the line between digital collectables and performance art.

A Meme with Meaning

Unlike tokens born purely to ride the latest trend, $POOBAH began as a daily ritual. Each day, The Poobah speaks—a Quote of the Day (QOTD), delivered from surreal settings: on the rim of a forgotten bidet, in the smoky stillness of the Marsupial Ministry, or halfway up a divine digestive biscuit. These quotes are then immortalised:

  • As 4:5 illustrated QOTD images (with watermark: poobahsays.com)

  • As NFTs with rarity traits and evolving lore

  • As community prompts for further satire, memes, and madness

A Token with Teeth

While Poobah’s sayings may be cryptic, the token mechanics are crystal:

  • ERC-20 Standard deployed on Ethereum

  • Fixed Supply of 10,000,000,000 tokens

  • No mint function (no more can be created)

  • Verified source code with OpenZeppelin contracts

  • Tradable on Uniswap, pegged initially to ETH

  • Future utility in staking, NFTs, Poobah games, and decentralised buffoonery

Community First

This isn’t a top-down cult—it’s a bottom-up congregation of crypto jesters, NFT hoarders, and lovers of surreal art.

Holders of $POOBAH:

  • Gain early access to NFT drops and lore expansions

  • Participate in airdrop events like The Great Sacred Splatter

  • Help shape the absurd direction of the Poobah ecosystem

Is This a Joke?

No! And also yes. Like the best memes, $POOBAH walks the sacred line between satire and sincerity.It’s a coin, a joke, a story, a collectible, and a community ritual wrapped in corduroy and smuggled onto the blockchain.

Tokenomics

While $POOBAH may sound like the ravings of a divine raccoon in a bishop’s mitre, its economics are rock solid—engineered for sustainability, accessibility, and a good giggle.

Total Supply

10,000,000,000 $POOBAH tokens. Fixed supply. No minting. No nonsense. No “oops, we added a trillion more.”

Initial Distribution

Category

Tokens

% of Total

Liquidity Pool

3,500,000,000

35%

NFT & Game Rewards

2,000,000,000

20%

Airdrops & Marketing

2,000,000,000

20%

Team & Development Fund

500,000,000

5%

DAO & Treasury Vault

2,000,000,000

20%

Tokens are held transparently in verified Ethereum wallets — no shady backdoors, no pre-sales, and absolutely no VC nonsense. The contract itself is now owned by a Gnosis Safe multi-signature wallet , so one bloke with a MetaMask and a God complex can’t rug the lot. Treasury, liquidity, and airdrops are all managed with proper grown-up controls (begrudgingly).

Burn Commitment

We commit to burning up to 20% of the treasury over time, through:

  • NFT fusions or upgrades that require token sacrifice

  • Staking mechanisms where spent tokens are permanently removed

  • Ritual events (possibly involving flaming bin icons and digital incense)

All token burns will be publicly announced and executed transparently.

Utility

$POOBAH isn’t a passive coin—it does things:

  • NFT Unlocks: Required to mint or purchase certain Poobah Cards

  • Poobah Betting Games: Stake tokens for hilariously unpredictable mini-games

  • DAO-style Governance: Planned for the most committed (and confused) Poobahians

  • Access Rights: Token-gated Discord rooms, rituals, and future sacred absurdities

Security & Transparency

  • Deployed on Ethereum Mainnet

  • Contract Address: 0x7d5a221a526b67a5fcdefd6a893013cc5ae2e6a3

  • ENS Domain: poobah.eth

  • Built with OpenZeppelin ERC-20, Burnable, Ownable modules

  • No mint function = No rugpull risk

  • Ownership retained for treasury management and game mechanics

Verified ENS Subdomains

All key infrastructure is mapped to ENS subnames under poobah.eth, allowing direct resolution via ENS-compatible wallets and apps.

ENS Subname Points To Description
wallet.poobah.eth 0x59e062Ce5311f3509fdE2972063D722D298c9c30 Deployer wallet (initial minting)
safe.poobah.eth 0x5Dce50f10e12cEd76dF0F3575dcc0fcDeb919ce7 Gnosis Safe (contract owner)
contract.poobah.eth 0x7d5a221a526b67a5fcdefd6a893013cc5ae2e6a3 $POOBAH token smart contract
lp.poobah.eth 0x010f588ec213b06c5816129691969bf6937f3abc48dc3a59e93e5ce54b7e9283 Uniswap ETH/POOBAH liquidity pool
website.poobah.eth https://poobahsays.com Official project website
x.poobah.eth https://x.com/poobahsays Official Twitter/X account

Visual map of key subdomains registered under poobah.eth for transparency and wallet resolution.

poobah.eth
├── wallet.poobah.eth       → 0x59e062Ce5311f3509fdE2972063D722D298c9c30
├── safe.poobah.eth         → 0x5Dce50f10e12cEd76dF0F3575dcc0fcDeb919ce7
├── contract.poobah.eth     → 0x7d5a221a526b67a5fcdefd6a893013cc5ae2e6a3
├── lp.poobah.eth           → 0x010f588ec213b06c5816129691969bf6937f3abc48dc3a59e93e5ce54b7e9283
├── website.poobah.eth      → https://poobahsays.com
└── x.poobah.eth            → https://x.com/poobahsays

Roadmap

The journey of $POOBAH is not a linear stroll—it’s a chaotic pilgrimage through the seven realms of memetic enlightenment. Each phase brings more features, more fun, and increasingly questionable decisions.

Phase I: The Summoning (COMPLETE)

  • Deploy $POOBAH as ERC-20 on Ethereum

  • Mint 10 billion tokens with no mint function

  • Verify contract on Etherscan

  • Link ENS domain: poobah.eth

  • Launch Uniswap liquidity pool (ETH/$POOBAH)

  • Begin daily QOTDs from The Poobah

  • Launch Instagram, Telegram, Discord, Twitter

Phase II: The Sacred Splatter (LIVE)

  • Begin The Great Sacred Splatter airdrop

  • Distribute 20,000 $POOBAH to early followers

  • Feature community-submitted QOTDs and remixes

  • Launch claim site or batch airdrop tooling

  • Poobah QOTD image/video generator fully operational

Phase III: The Temple of Twaddle (PLANNED)

  • Launch first NFT series: The Founding Poobahs (12-card collectables)

  • Introduce rarity tiers (Utterly Bonkers, Mildly Unhinged, etc.)

  • Build complete Poobah Card metadata and lore system

  • Enable Poobah staking to earn rare NFTs or token rewards

  • Publish full-feature Poobah website with feed + NFT galleries

Phase IV: Games, Glory & Gibberish

  • Launch Poobah Betting Game (heads/tails staking + dicey outcomes)

  • Enable $POOBAH staking for game entry + rewards

  • Add NFT fusion/burning mechanics for card upgrades

  • Publish a downloadable Poobah Prayerbook (sacred meme bible)

Phase V: Decentralised Delirium

  • Submit $POOBAH to CoinGecko, CoinMarketCap, and similar listing sites

  • Launch PoobahDAO for community governance

  • Introduce honorary ministries (e.g., Poopaganda Minister, Custodian of Rituals)

  • Celebrate International Poobah Day with global nonsense

Long-Term Madness

  • Expand $POOBAH to cross-chain ecosystems (Polygon, Base, BSC?)

  • Create IRL Poobah merch: socks, scrolls, shrine starter kits

  • Launch Temple of the Unseen Smudge (VR NFT museum)

  • Animate QOTDs into reels/shorts with talking Poobah avatars

  • Release a mobile oracle app featuring The Poobah as your divine assistant

Community & Governance

The $POOBAH project isn’t powered by boardrooms, hedge funds, or suit-wearing sharks—it’s driven by a community of joyful degenerates, sacred shitposters, and Poobahian disciples from around the world.

This isn’t a token you simply hold; it’s one you belong to.

The Poobahian Order

At the heart of the movement is a growing congregation known as the Poobahians. These faithful followers gather daily to:

  • Remix and share the Poobah’s QOTDs

  • Contribute memes, lore, and NFT ideas

  • Participate in absurd rituals and virtual events

  • Occasionally scream into the void with great enthusiasm

Join the Congregation:

Titles & Roles

While governance is still taking form, these honorary roles are emerging:

  • Minister of Memes

  • Sacred Scribe of the QOTD

  • Custodian of the Confused Archives

  • Chief Priest of the Sacred Splatter

Titles may become token/NFT-gated roles or ritual-based rewards over time.

Toward Decentralised Buffoonery

We are developing a light-touch governance model—PoobahDAO—where token holders will eventually:

  • Vote on NFT drops and rarity tiers

  • Propose new lore, events, and token mechanics

  • Help decide on treasury allocations

  • Debate the nature of sacred nonsense via emoji reactions

Voting will take place via:

  • Snapshot.org

  • Discord pre-vote channels

  • NFT-gated events and one-off memestrike referenda

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Ut elit tellus, luctus nec ullamcorper mattis, pulvinar dapibus leo.

Technical Details

Beneath its absurdity, $POOBAH is a technically sound ERC-20 token deployed on Ethereum Mainnet.

Key Contract Facts

  • Network: Ethereum Mainnet

  • Token Standard: ERC-20

  • Compiler: Solidity 0.8.20

  • Optimisation: Disabled (0 runs)

  • Contract Verified: Yes, on Etherscan

  • ENS Name: poobah.eth

  • Contract Address: 0x7d5a221a526b67a5fcdefd6a893013cc5ae2e6a3

Libraries Used

  • OpenZeppelin:

    • ERC20

    • ERC20Burnable

    • Ownable

    • Context (inherited)

Security Notes

  • Fixed Total Supply: 10,000,000,000

  • No mint function

  • Burnable by any holder

  • Non-upgradable, no proxy

  • Open Source: Flattened contract viewable on Etherscan

  • No admin mint or hidden tax functions

Airdrops: The Great Sacred Splatter

To honour early believers and unsuspecting wallet-holders, we launched The Great Sacred Splatter—our first airdrop.

Launch Stats

  • Campaign Name: The Great Sacred Splatter

  • Date: April 2025

  • Amount: 25,000,000 $POOBAH

  • Distribution: 1,000,000 tokens each to 25 holders

  • Method: Gnosis Safe (manual drop from Treasury)

Eligibility

  • Early supporters, friends, and Poobahian contributors

  • Future campaigns will include:

    • Meme submission contests

    • QOTD remixes

    • NFT ownership

    • Random blessings from The Poobah Himself

Security & Integrity

  • Airdrops only come from the verified Treasury Wallet

  • Never via DMs, shady links, or divine hallucination

  • No “connect wallet” scam pages allowed in the Temple

How to Buy $POOBAH

Whether you’re here for the memes, the NFTs, or because you accidentally clicked a link during a full moon—buying $POOBAH is delightfully simple.

Step 1: Get a Web3 Wallet

You’ll need a crypto wallet that speaks Ethereum. We recommend:

  • MetaMask (browser or mobile)

  • Coinbase Wallet, Rainbow, or Trust Wallet

Step 2: Fund with ETH

Buy Ethereum (ETH) on your favourite exchange (Coinbase, Kraken, Binance, etc.) and transfer it to your Web3 wallet.

Step 3: Visit Uniswap

Go to https://app.uniswap.org/swap

and swap ETH for POOBAH

Step 4: Swap ETH for $POOBAH

  • Choose ETH as your input

  • Select $POOBAH (you may see “Poobah Token”) as the output

  • Approve and confirm the swap

  • Wait for the magic to happen on-chain

Step 5: Add $POOBAH to Your Wallet

In MetaMask:

  • Click “Import Token”

  • Use the token address: 0x7d5a221a526b67a5fcdefd6a893013cc5ae2e6a3

  • Or simply type poobah.eth

Coinbase Wallet Users

You can also buy $POOBAH using Coinbase Wallet’s built-in swap feature:

  • Search for poobah.eth

  • Swap ETH directly within the app

Poobah NFTs: Utility, Lore, and Sacred Combustion

The Poobah NFT collection isn’t just art—it’s a living collectable system infused with lore, upgrades, and utility.

Each Poobah Card May Offer:

  • Unlocks: Access to gated Discord areas, websites, or tools

  • Rarity-Based Perks: Early access to future drops or exclusive airdrops

  • Burn Mechanics: Fuse cards to summon more powerful Poobahs

  • Staking Utility: Certain NFTs may enable token or gameplay rewards

  • Lore Expansion: Every card has narrative backstory and thematic alignment

Cards may be upgraded, evolved, or exploded in a puff of absurdity depending on the season or event.

Future Use Cases:

  • Card battles and meme duels

  • NFT holder DAO proposals

  • Easter eggs, puzzles, and “find the sacred biscuit” quests

  • Physical redemptions: stickers, shrine kits, socks of power

DAO Framework: Governance for the Gloriously Confused

$POOBAH believes in democracy—as long as it’s entertaining.

PoobahDAO Structure

  • Proposals via Discord (with enough emoji reactions)

  • Votes conducted on Snapshot.org

  • Most votes follow 1 $POOBAH = 1 vote

  • Some decisions may be gated by NFT ownership (e.g., card fusion events)

What Can Be Voted On?

  • Which NFT collection launches next

  • Whether treasury burns occur or not

  • Poobah Day celebration logistics

  • Game mechanics, community rituals, and future titles

Checks & Balances

  • Proposals must pass a minimum quorum

  • The Poobah retains a symbolic veto—used only in cases of overwhelming stupidity

  • Multisig wallet management of treasury funds will be community-selected

Security & Smart Contract Transparency

Despite the memes, $POOBAH was built with sober attention to technical integrity. The contract is transparent, lean, and doesn’t do anything weird behind your back.

Contract Overview

  • Standard: ERC-20

  • Network: Ethereum Mainnet

  • Compiler: Solidity 0.8.20 (no optimisation)

  • Contract Address: 0x7d5a221a526b67a5fcdefd6a893013cc5ae2e6a3

  • ENS: poobah.eth

  • Verification: Complete on Etherscan

OpenZeppelin Modules

  • ERC20: Basic token standard

  • Burnable: Anyone can burn their tokens

  • Ownable: Allows management of treasury, not minting

  • Context: For contract inheritance

Security Guarantees

  • No mint function (total supply fixed at deployment)

  • No proxy upgrade pattern

  • No external dependencies

  • No transfer tax, reflection, or stealth fees

  • Multisig plans for future liquidity and treasury control

No shenanigans. No pre-mines. No back doors. Even if The Poobah wanted to rug you, he technically can’t. (He tried. It didn’t compile.)

Poobah Glossary of Sacred Terms

Because in this temple, even nonsense deserves documentation:

Term

Definition

$POOBAH

The memecoin of sacred satire

The Poobah

Meme prophet, creator, guru in corduroy

QOTD

Quote of the Day, delivered daily and turned into NFTs

Sacred Splatter

Inaugural airdrop campaign

Poobahian

Member of the Poobah cult/community

Bidet of Destiny

Metaphorical cosmic toilet of truth

Temple of Twaddle

Poobah’s NFT hub

DAO

Governance system where Poobahians rule

Burning

Ritual destruction of tokens for glory or upgrades

Uniswap

Where ETH is traded for $POOBAH in sacred swaps

Appendix A: Liquidity Pool Management

The $POOBAH–ETH pool on Uniswap is the main source of $POOBAH liquidity.

It was seeded with:

  • 3.5 billion $POOBAH tokens

  • A matching amount of ETH

Guidelines & Transparency

  • Liquidity is currently controlled by the project founder

  • All LP interactions are visible on-chain

  • Liquidity changes (adds or removes) are publicly announced

  • LP tokens may eventually be burned to ensure permanent liquidity

Reasons We May Adjust Liquidity

  • Add ETH to support smoother trading

  • Withdraw $POOBAH to support games, staking, or NFTs

  • Migrate to another DEX or Uniswap version if necessary

Future Controls

  • Move LP control to multisig wallet

  • Enable DAO voting on treasury actions

  • Allow Poobahians to shape the pool policy

We treat liquidity as sacred—and occasionally hilarious.

Closing Words from The Poobah

“O wanderer of wallets, o whisperer of swaps—thou hast made it to the end. Or is it the beginning? The Poobah is never sure.”

- The Poobah

You have journeyed through tokenomics, laughed at nonsense, and possibly learned more than you intended.

But $POOBAH is not merely a token to be held—it is a thing to be felt.

A living artefact of web3 absurdity.

A flamingo among pigeons.

So now, brave traveller:

  • Mint your memes

  • Stake your sanity

  • Worship the bidet of destiny

  • And above all, laugh in the face of seriousness

“Where sense fails, nonsense reigns.”

- The Poobah
Scroll to Top